I can tuck mytits in my pants
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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