before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Randomize
