I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
We smell like vodka and hangover
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
