Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So much Jack, so little girl.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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