Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
