You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
