So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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