We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
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Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
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sex in a hospital.. check
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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