is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
