Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
