what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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