i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
