he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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