Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
