TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
