whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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