I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
