How'd it feel making her break her religion?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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