Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
