So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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