I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
