he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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