Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
