We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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