There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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