Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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