The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
