im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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