i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
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