In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
