I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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