You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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