Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
