Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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