Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
