3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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