He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
