end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
