I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
