I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
