real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
