i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
