I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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