ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
