it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
