frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize