The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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