I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Apparently you make a good broom.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
