so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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