I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's blow job season.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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