I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
How external is "for external use only"?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
