Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
