I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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