dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
