can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
