why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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