This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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