id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
