Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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