Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
