smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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