you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
