Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
